* Konkani is never spoken, always sung.
* Sunday morning breakfast has to be sanna and sorpotel.
* At all family gatherings, (after a few drinks) the older men of the family will bring out their guitars and sing dirty songs and everyone will actually join in.
* Every other Mangy is a far off relation.
* Every trip to Mangalore includes gadbad from (?)Pabba''s/ Ideal
* And you love sea-food.
* Your brother-in-law is called "Bhaoji"
* You wear high-heels to a dance and then go bare foot on to the dance floor because it is more comfortable.
* Every sentence must start with a "kaale gi" and end with a "voi gi"
* You invite family to visit you overseas and give them long lists of things you need from India.
* You have two-three middle names, which was either of your grandmothers' or grandfathers' first name and most of which others can't pronounce.
* If you're a girl and your 22, you will get at least 3 proposals from Mangy men much older than you.
* You meet another Mangy and you both will know at least 10 people related to either of you. E.g. "She's my mother's aunt's sister-in-law's maidservant's niece."
* You love going on and on about who your grandfather was and what he did.
* You will ask your relatives traveling from Mangalore to bring you prawn/fish pickle and you make sure they also bring you some Mangalorean sweets.
* You deck/pile yourself with gold at weddings and sneer at women wearing simple jewellery and men, who often gotten drunk at the weddings.
* You know what a 'baila' is and you love dancing to it.
* If you're not married before your 28, the community will start to wonder if there is something wrong with you.
* In the 70s, at least 60% of all the Mangi men went to the gulf and were known as Gulfy's.
* You've learnt the skill of bargaining from your mother and it's something you're proud of.
* You have at least 30 first cousins and 70 second cousins. Your family tree is so large; it's a family orchard not a family tree.
* Your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin or both or you had to go for singing lessons.
* Everyone is a family friend.
* You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all 25 members of your family who have come to pick you up.
* Your entire family is constantly fighting over property they all inherited from somebody else.
* You eat "atailly kadi" which is last night's curry (Goan's aptly call it "kalchi kodi") the next morning.
* You never understand how the bus drivers actually get away with their rash driving on the streets.
* The roads are so bad that you're always complaining about pot holes.
* Your friends call you a bewada and you love the fact that they do so.
* Your entire community knows everything about everyone and nothing is a secret.
* You only look to date Mangalorean men so that they can turn in to potential husbands.
* You are a man, you start losing hair and your belly grows when you're just 35.
* Your mother's main aim in life is to please your father.
* You don't know if your ancestors were Saraswat Brahmins or Portugese... and yet you will claim only Saraswat lineage.
* Your parents either have one brother called Wilfy, an uncle called Peddy, a cousin called Vally Dattu, a distant aunt called Yellubai (nickname for Aunt Helen), a neighbor who is called Jillibai and a dog called Tommy.
* And likewise everyone you know in the community has a corresponding ridiculously corrupted konkani equivalent to equally ridiculous throw-back name of yester-years. (for example 'Ipa' for Esperancsa.... 'Attie' for Arthur! ...or Tejju for Theodocius)
* The cure for any illness is peze, lonche aani kasai
* You can get on to any bus in Mangalore and you know that wherever the bus goes, you will always land up in Hampankatta.
.....sent in by Annie Sinha
